first my day...Today was annoying!!!!! I got sick. That was not pleasant. I think my wisdom teeth are coming in cause my mouth hurts and the spot where they belong is cut up kinda. its been annoying me all day. and Drama gahhh its so annoying, I just want everything to get worked out. I blame prom for having the grand march line up by your ticket number. but then as the day went on it got better! I guess the day has to sometime! I found out I have a very short school day on friday! :) tomorrow will be busy, school, lacrosse, work, and PACKING! :)

Well if you don't know....I think everyone does but....Im in sr (sheltered reality) we have steps of success (1. take a chance, 2. never give up 3. do whatever it takes 4. believe in yourself 5. be a friend and 6. believe in God.) So I normally use these everyday not knowing it for small little things, Im sure everyone does, but TODAY I actually thought about it and used them in a tough I really gotta try and push myself kind of way...its always the best feeling. :)

Yesterday I learned something about myself....it was a disappointment. so I am sure almost everyone knows that The Hills is my favorite show, its so great, I think the badness makes it good, and Funny. I dont know I just love it A LOT!! So I once was told that I watch the show too much and that I am starting to talk like the girls on the show, and I think that this is not really a good thing I also thought that it was not true, but then I was watchin cause it was the season premiere!!! and I realized that omg I really do sound like Stephine Pratt. I say a lot of the same things and I talk a lot a like her. I think its kinda sad, but I guess its just me.

well I dont know what else to add...bye! :)

:)

once again I blog...hahaha! I never really know what to blog about, but today i have just realized that this summer will be the last chapter of one book of my life and time to start a whole new chapter of my life! Im excited. But to end the chapter I think I need to have one of the best summers ever if this is it! I already know that I will never ever be ready for all the goodbyes, but I am ready for all the hellos! This summer is going to packed with action and fun and I will make the best memories of it! high school goes by so fast!!! COLLEGE I cant wait to get to a whole new enviroment with all new people and fun, but at the same time i dont wanna leave the one I am in! I dont know if im happy or sad! I will miss so many people, but I will start a new chapter!

today I learn something! that some people think that a person is only themselves by the choices that they themselves make, but its so not true! I know that I am me from other peoples decisions in life too my family, friends, and even peers. A person can make a decision that can change you, so what is being yourself? if a happy person gets really sad after a sad event that involved a friend are they not being themselves? No one will know if a person is being themselves, but the person. and the hardest part is that sometimes the person doesn't even know! I know that I try to be myself, but I also know that other people make me be me, but I don't know if that is me being myself! Wow, I think that i think way too hard sometimes!

Well I don't know if I wanna tell the internet anything else so goodbye! :)

1/24/10

So I remembered about this blogging thing again :) i totally almost forgot about it again ;) I am pretty sure that even if I did forget it wouldn't matter because pretty much no one reads this and I like that hahaha! I would still be happy if no one at all reads this...I just like writing some things cause then its just better.

Recently I learned how to act mature, when acting mature is a hard thing to do. Have you ever disagreed with someone and you just want to argue with that person even when arguing gets you no one...you can argue for hours and still no one wins. Most of the time you are just ended even more mad than what you were before you started this. So when you sit down and actually talk about the problem in a mature way you can actually solve things (okay if the problem is very contraversal than you probably won't completely solve it, but maybe just understand the other more and be okay with not agreeing). I used to love the whole arguing part, I have to admit I am pretty good at it, but that often means saying things that you really don't actually mean, and hurting others, but when you actually sit down and talk on an open level you are more likely to talk about the problem and only the problem and be open on the topic. this is a very good life skill. I am so greatful to have learned it after 17 years.

Age. So this is pretty silly but I have been 17 for for a little over 9 months, and yet I still forget and say I am 16 and not 17. I think its pretty bad that I can't even remember my own age. maybe if I wrote it on my hand over and over again I would remember...I mean that is how I learned my left from right (after I realized I put the L and R on the wrong hand)! maybe I will just wait till I am 18 and maybe this could be the way that I remember my age. I really hate when people ask me how old I am because the majority of the time I am like sixtee.......seventeen hahaha...I look so dumb when that happens. I do this in front of so many people too, but I guess its me and I need to like me for who I am..even if I cant even remember my own age.

memory...kinda going off of the age thing, but I understand that my memory sucks, I have a feeling its going to be really bad when I get old...I am going to like set my glasses down and then be like awwwh I lost my glasses. This is so much funnier when you hear my old person voice and see my old person walk. Well actually i should think of a new name for it cause the name now is categorizing the elderly...and most elderly are not like this, but I think its what I will be like when I am older...so maybe it should be called old Tonia humm I will have to think of something better...since I love doing my Tonia is old walk and talk (I do understand that many old people walk talk and remember just the same as when they were young, and I am NOT trying to be disrespectful, but I am talking about me getting old and not anyone else)

Bloggers...Do you know how some people can go on to their blog and just spill their life story, no matter how good or bad they are just that open...or how some people use their live story to help others. I like how people can do this. I wish I had this trait I do understand that it can get annoying to some people, but being able to open up and tell everyone what you have been through or what is going on that is being brave and it can really help others. Even stories on websites, or speakers, and even people who can just open up to their friends...honestly I still have so many things I want to say some on here to everyone to know, and others just to a few close close close close close friends, but I need the courage, the power, and the trust. Maybe its even to late for some of these things to come out, but idk I wish I had the strength. maybe that will come in time, or maybe I will be without it the rest of my life...who knows

Well its time for this blog to come to an end...If anyone reads this thanks I guess....yeah thanks! haha

1/20/10

My first post of 2010!!!! 2010 is a big year for me I turn 18, graduate high school, and go off to college! I did start a year like this off with a BANG! haha I jumped into lake minnetonka! oh and if you are wondering it was cold!

So I also only have 2 days left of my internship :( I am so mad! I love the kids that I work with and I dont think that Physics is really that worth it!

Random thought is I am the worse blogger ever, i like never do it!! maybe I will be able to change this! eventually I have a story that I want to tell, but I dont know if that would be a good blog! I have learned something about myself I am wonderful at getting myself in drama! such a bad thing to be so good at! its not like I try or even like drama I just tend to say the wrong things at the wrong times, and this can sometimes hurt others feelings! i must work on blogging and telling people what I think nicely.

So if anyone does not know my plan for life it is occupational therapy, but I have been thinking of politics or a lawyer as back up plans. i love sticking up for rights and trying to make the right thing happen! I just realized how much I like doing this. I still know that i like O.T. much better. I get to attend some college overnights soon I am really excited to get a sneak peek of college life! I cannot wait to live on campus.

So this is a whole new thought, i just realized that all my blogs are giant chucks of randomness and they should be split up instead of a giant not connecting paragraph! I think I will fix this blog before I continue...hold on. There now my unorganized thoughts are a tiny bit more organized!

frustration, anger, and annoyance. these seem to be my only emotions lately oh and laughter is often present only cause even when I am mad or something I still laugh way too easily!

well I dont feel like typing anymore and I should get to homework....finals are coming.....wait I have one tomorrow I so forgot hahaha!